| 1 | Apples | markets & fairs |
| 2 | Ballad of the Sulphate Strangler | biography & autobiography |
| 3 | Billericay Dickie | accents |
| 4 | Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick | the Commonwealth |
| 5 | I Want to Be Straight | wanting to be someone else |
| 6 | Itinerant Child | itinerants & migration |
| 7 | Jack Shit George | education |
| 8 | My Old Man | fathers |
| 9 | Plaistow Patricia | great opening lines |
| 10 | Poo-Poo in the Prawn | unlikely words |
| 11 | Razzle in My Pocket | mistakes |
| 12 | Reasons to Be Cheerful, Part 3 | joyous songs |
| 13 | Sex & Drugs & Rock ’n’ Roll | three |
| 14 | Sweet Gene Vincent | glamour & style |
| 15 | There Ain’t Half Been Some Clever Bastards | intelligence |
| 16 | What a Waste | ambition |